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Simba's Domain


Mr. Mistoffelees

You ought to know Mr. Mistoffelees!
 The Original Conjuring Cat -
 (There can be no doubt about that).
 Please listen to me and don't scoff. All his
 Inventions are off his own bat.
 There's no such Cat in the metropolis;
 He holds all the patent monopolies
 For performing surprising illusions
 And creating eccentric confusions.
    At prestidigitation
       And at legerdemain
    He'll defy examination
       And deceive you again.
 The greatest magicians have something to learn
 From Mr. Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn.
    Presto!
       Away we go!
          And we all say: OH!
             Well I never!
             Was there ever
             A Cat so clever
                As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

 He is quiet and small, he is black
 From his ears to the tip of his tail;
 He can creep through the tiniest crack
 He can walk on the narrowest rail.
 He can pick any card from a pack,
 He is equally cunning with dice;
 He is always deceiving you into believing
 That he's only hunting for mice.
    He can play any trick with a cork
       Or a spoon and a bit of fish-paste;
    If you look for a knife or a fork
       And you think it is merely misplaced -
 You have seen it one moment, and then it is gawn!
 But you'll find it next week lying out on the lawn.
    And we all say: OH!
       Well I never!
       Was there ever
       A Cat so clever
          As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!

 His manner is vague and aloof,
 You would think there was nobody shyer -
 But his voice has been heard on the roof
 When he was curled up by the fire.
 and he's sometimes been heard by the fire
 When he was about on the roof -
 (At least we all heard somebody who purred)
 Which is incontestable proof
    Of his singular magical powers:
       And I have known the family to call
    Him in from the garden for hours,
       While he was asleep in the hall.
 And not long ago this phenomenal Cat
 Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
    And we all said: OH!
       Well I never!
       Did you ever
       Know a Cat so clever
          As Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!


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